To Long, Too Long
Published: July 27, 2008 | | Submit An Inquiry

Dear Chivalry,

     How do people manage these long distance relationships? The longing hurts so bad, invades my dreams, distracts my days, brings me down. I fight going with the flow and being stubborn in the stream.  For years I've tried to be happy where I am and find companionship, like my produce, locally. The truth is simply that my heart, and my fortune-filled career that allows frequent flights into my love's arms, are too far away. I don't want to settle for what's near and this heartache is too unpleasantly unsettling. Can you help plug this hole that my love leaves in his absence?

Lost and Longing Lady

Dear Lost and Longing Lady,

     There is no quick and easy cure for the loneliness caused by absence, but there are a few things that may help ease the pain.  You can start by looking to your close friends for companionship, take this time to nurture the relationships with those around you and enjoy their uninterrupted company.  However, beware of those who may see your boyfriend being away as an "opportunity".  Not to stereotype, but the tendencies of those who are "near" can create situations that will test your will power and ultimately make things a great deal more difficult.  Just something to keep in mind.  Another device that I've always found comfort in is the simple act of making things for others.  Focusing on small projects that aim to bring happiness to the one you're with always helped me to deal with time apart, or at least made that time feel more productive.  And after all, what's better than giving a gift to someone after they've been away?  

     The one over-riding positive that comes from separation would most obviously be when the waiting is finally over.  The anticipation and build up that precedes the day when you are together again can provide a feeling unlike anything else.  All the time spent apart can melt away in that single moment of your first embrace.  It's said that you can not fully appreciate something until you have to be without it.  So at its best, distance can provide a learning experience that shows you how strong your feelings really are.  Staying true and focusing on the day of your reunion will help see you through these desolate times.

     Stay strong.




Books, The - "A Little Longing Goes Away"
Electrelane - "To The East"
Jib Kidder - "Dark Summer"
Little Wings - "Gone Again"
Kat Cosm, The - "My Letter of Fate, I Write For You Tonight"
Kings of Convenience - "The Build Up"
Mount Analog ft. Karl Blau - "That's How I Got To Memphis"
Will Oldham - "Patience"
Tren Brothers  - "Gone Away"
Penguin Café Orchestra - "The Sound Of Someone You Love Who's Going Away..."

Film: Un Long Dimanche de Fiançailles