August 2009 Archived
And Guest
Published: August 31, 2009 | | Submit An Inquiry

Dear Chivalry,

     I've recently been invited to attend the wedding of a pair of dear friends.  As excited as I am for my dear friends, the happy couple (THC), my RSVP does not come without a few reservations of my own.

     The wedding is three hours away and I know very few of THC's other friends.  I am currently single, and therefore have no obvious date.  However, the wedding is in a large town where I know many people and it wouldn't be difficult finding someone to go with me.  The last time I went to a wedding alone, I ended up filling the awkward gaps in conversations with people I was not yet comfortable with, with trips to the complimentary kegs.  This was a blackened-eye disaster.  The prospect of putting myself In a situation like that, but where there will be even less people I am comfortable around, has me fearing the worst. I don't want to end the night passed out in yet another schoolyard - and this time it won't across the street from my house!  

     I have been asking around amongst my (mostly) single friends, and to be honest they haven't been much help (the most cryptic response imploring me "not to bring sand to the beach").  So, Chivalry, what do I do?  Am I the awkward single guy that nobody knows with a wedding-induced drinking problem?  Or am I some reasonably well-composed gentleman that secretly and sadly relies on a wrangler as some kind of an emotional crutch?  Or, the dark horse, option three:  Am I the fella who drops a check in the mail and just doesn't show up?

     Who am I?


Tied In Knots

Dear Tied In Knots,

     Let's strike that third option from the running right away.  As you mention from the start, these are dear friends of yours and you really shouldn't miss their wedding based on some easily avoidable insecurities.  So that puts it between bringing a companion or going it alone.  And taking into account your anecdote about your previous solo wedding excursion, I think that makes the choice somewhat obvious. 

     Bringing a friend along is the best possible idea for many reasons, especially for a single person.  The thought of asking an actual date to such a typically awkward setting is more than likely bound for disaster.  So if you are lucky enough to have a willing acquaintance in the area (and it sounds like you do) then ask the favor.  There's nothing wrong with admitting that you would appreciate the support of a friend for something like this, everyone finds themselves in a place like this from time to time. 

     Now I realize the usual expectations that go along with attending a wedding, but why not try to see this as an opportunity to buck tradition and actually enjoy yourself?  Taken at base value you know that you can count on at least three things: there will be dancing to fairly bad but mostly fun music, free food and drink, and by requiring the attendance of your friend, you're assured the opportunity to spend time with at least one person you know and like.  And with the complete absence of the normal pressures that come with a real date, I'd say you're pretty much free to make the absolute best of it.  And who knows - you may just meet someone new as well.

     Try to have fun.




Casiotone For The Painfully Alone - "Scattered Pearls"
Phoenix - "If I Ever Feel Better"
UGK - "Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You)"
Felix Da Housecat - "Ready 2 Wear"
Rubies - "Stand In A Line"
Xiu Xiu - "Ceremony"
Thee Midnighters - "Land of A Thousand Dances"
Lake - "Wedding Days"
Harry Nilsson - "Save The Last Dance For Me"
Watery Graves of Portland, The - "Timid Virgins Make Dull Company At Weddings"