SETTLERS
i heard the author of this article being interviewed on npr last week. i definitely appreciate her sentiments. basically, the gist is that women in particular should "settle" for a man that will make a great husband and father, as opposed to holding out for the man of their dreams (i.e., great husband/father material, wildly attractive, and a total turn-on). this article provides one answer to the "why tie the knot?" question i posed last august.
the article confirms a few things that i suspected to be true for quite some time now:
1. marriage is way more about creating a life partnership and a stable environment for child rearing than passion. in the wise words of mother franco: marriage is a contract, veronica, not a perpetual tryst.
2. marriage is increasingly obsolete for people that are comfortable with sex outside marriage, don't want to have children (or are happy raising them alone), and/or don't particularly want a life partner.
3. you're less likely to be disappointed if you go in to a marriage - really, any romantic relationship - with the understanding that it will NOT be a real-life extension of every romantic comedy you've ever seen. it's highly unlikely that one person is going to be able to help you raise children, complement you emotionally and spiritually, and get you off every night.
4. i am as cynical as a forty-year-old single mother.