I had such a craving today! I wait all year for good tomatoes and finally they are here- just waiting to be cut into think, juicy slices and nestled into toast with bacon and homemade mayo. Of course, fufilling this desire necessitated a trip to the farmer's market, something I consider a bit of a chore.
OK, I do love the market. I love the goat man, the old guy with the herbs, the beautiful peppers and lettuces, cheap seconds of produce. Things I do not love, however, are myriad. I hate the idiots selling jewelry/photos/baby hats. I hate the giant J. Dykestra truck with their Georgia peaches and California garlic. Today marked a new low however; in a disgusting mash-up of non-food, non-homegrown product was a booth stocked with UglyDolls (TM.) What exactly do these people think they are doing?! It would seem that they are trying to horn in on the fetishization of local, sustainable agriculture. Lovely! I happen to be the sort of person who gets angry for nebulous moralistic reasons, so this really pisses me off. I am also the sort of person who gets angry at being inconvenienced, so yeah, the giant strollers and people who stop in the middle of the aisle blocking the one artery of traffic flow also kinda steam me, but I try not to complain about that 'cause it makes me sound like a crazy old man (You kids get off my lawn! You are not gettin' that frisbee back, punk!) The parking situation is even worse! Unless you park on Fountain, you are signing up for a 10 minute crawl around the perimeter behind cars whose drivers insist on sitting and waiting for marker-goers to pack up groceries and leave, instead of driving to the end of the row where, invariably, there are free spots waiting.
Whoo. That felt good. Anyway, to make a really superlative BLT, you need homemade mayonnaise. I would suggest getting some delicious free-range-local-organic farm market eggs for this, cause this shit is raw! Watch out! Salmonella a tasty possibility! Isn't it fun living on the edge?
1 cup oil (can use all olive for a really strong flavor, I usually use 1 part olive to 3 parts neutral or half and half)
dash dry mustard
garlic (1-4 cloves? Ted likes some seriously garliky mayo, but be careful)
2 Tbs. lemon juice (you can use vinegar, but if its strong, cut it with 1 T. water. Rice and cider vin. don't usually need cutting)
All right- everything but 3/4 cup of the oil go into a blender or food processor (immersion blender is the best option, if you have one) Whir until blended. Now slowly (slowly) dribble the reserved oil into the whirring machine. Slow! This mix should get gradually thicker as the oil is absorbed. Once you're down to the last 1/4 cup or so, you can increase the speed of the pouring. Ta-da! You're done! Covered tightly this lasts a week or more.
Edited to add: Putting cheese on this sandwich is a small crime.