January 2, 2008
travels of time and space
now that i'm back in raleigh, michigan feels like a strange, sugar-induced dream.
has anyone else ever felt that way? to leave somewhere, make a very satisfactory new life elsewhere, and then return to the first place? it's unsettling. i can't keep things straight in my mind. someone asked if i'd ever been to mojo's (the piano bar) and i said, "oh, the burger place?" i kept comparing things in my head - common ground is like cup a joe, whereas four friends is like third place. i would be sitting in my parents' family room and think, "i want to read that book," and go upstairs only to remember that my books were all in raleigh.
and now that i'm back, everything is unsettled again, thrown back into this life that i was used to, feeling strangely as if i had never left. granted, i was gone for less than two weeks, but those two weeks felt like a long time while they were happening. now i walk into the house and people are cooking dinner, some random kid is sleeping on our couch, attila's building a fire in the fireplace. i simultaneously feel like i never left, and like i've been gone for months.
i can't keep going back. it confuses me too much.