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The couch

The white couch I bought last summer from Goodwill for $50 does not fit through Mark's door. Desperate for seating in the old apartment with Alex, I saw a semi-beautiful couch from outside Goodwill. I walked in and immediately purchased it, forgetting that I had no way of moving it to my apartment a mile away. They agreed to lend me a crate with wheels on it if I returned it in 45 minutes. After losing 2 of the 6 wheels but pressing on a man stopped me and insisted that I load the couch in the back of his truck. I offered him money after he dropped me off, but he refused. I then pushed it in my then-new apartment and arranged it myself, feeling proud.

I later received another couch, thanks to my grandmother. A neighbor in her old people condo died and my grandma bought it and gave it to me. I put it in my apartment with Alex and Tom slept on it for a few weeks while he lived with us. I'm convinced the lady died on the couch and that it is haunted/enchanted.

When I moved out I made plans to take just one couch, so Alex would have a place to entertain or whatever. We moved the dead couch in along with Mark's nice leather couch, thinking that we'd get the white couch in the distant future and not have to worry about it. The time finally came this weekend. We were required to be out of our old apartment by noon on Sunday and Saturday was our day of destiny.

A visit with cousins Saturday afternoon lasted longer than expected and the moving truck I planned on mooching off of Alex while he moved was returned by the time I got back to help. I ran into Audrey in our parking lot and she said her dad could probably help in the morning. We exchanged numbers.

The next morning I waited for a call and declined offers to attend mass and lunch with Chris and Justin. At 11:15 they said, "Here, we'll carry it the two blocks between apartments with you. It won't be too bad." For their troubles I offered to pay for lunch. We walked to the old apartment and as we were lifting it to carry it out the doorway Audrey called and said she would be at the apartment in 5 minutes. I was relieved, but secretly wished to carry the couch, thinking it'd prove my manliness...to myself.

We loaded it on the trailer and Chris, Justin and I walked back. Audrey and Kyle helped unload it and hand off the cushions and Chris, Justin and I moved it up stairs in the same pushing/pulling up 2 "flights" of stairs vertically and over the mini-balcony, through the French doors and into the living room. We dropped what we were doing, except for a quick harassment of Tom by Chris, and ate at the Sundance Grill where the waitress who asked "What do you want?" and "Are you done?" in polite tones accidentally gave me over-changed me, giving me a beautiful $10 bill. I gave her a big(ger) tip and returned home.

I set the couch on a pillow and pushed it through the hallway to Mark's room, where it would quickly pass through his door and then through the door to the attic and up into the rumpus room. But it didn't fit (and my ideas of sawing off portions to make it fit were shot down). And it is now sitting upright in the hallway, beside Tom's bedroom, waiting to fall on him the second he walks out.

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