Kanye's Workout Plan
As confirmed by my grandmother, Tim Carpenter, my distorted self-image influenced by skinnies Alex, Tom, Matt and Mark, and a scale, I need to lose a little weight. I mainly just need to get in shape. So, I've put myself on a "new" exercise regimen. I haven't exercised in 2 years aside from riding my bike for transportation, but that hardly counts. Now, I go to the fieldhouse at GVSU every day after work for about an hour.
· I jog 3 laps, walk 2 laps, jog 3 laps, walk 1 lap. (1 mile)
· I use machines that exercise my adductors, abductors, abdominals, pectorals, quads, glutes, lats and whatever the red areas are on my back. (4 sets of 5 reps)
· I then use an elliptical running machine for 20 minutes or 2 miles, whichever comes last. Unless I'm reading an article in National Geographic on the decline of oil and it takes me forever to read the words because I'm bouncing. Then it's up to 4 miles.
Yesterday I did the "front lat. pull down" for a minute and when the person sat down at the same machine next to me, sitting facing the machine instead of away from it like me, I was too ashamed to continue my lats workout for the day. I then moved on to the other machines with other actual settings. While I'm using these I always have to change the settings for weight and my height. I'm not happy with my height, but I don't care. I do feel ashamed of the little amount I can lift. I usually have to change the setting from 148 lbs. to 62 lbs or something nearby. Sweat pours down my face, my ears fill with water and my headphones slide out, my t-shirt gets wet from the center and outward and then I do my second rep.
When I finish with a machine, I quickly glance around for watchers, then return the weight setting to the original "strongman" amount that was there before. Assuring the dudes and pretty ladies that I can fight/lay them. Then I wipe the drops of sweat out of my eyes, and realize they're actually tears.