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Call me peanut butter pants

I went to the dentist for the first time in three years today. I tried making appointments a year ago and six months ago. They fucked it up both times. I don’t appreciate how my dentist can make enough money to be open only four days a week for limited hours. When I tried to make this appointment I found that the next available time for a cleaning was three weeks later.

So it was with resentment that I got my teeth cleaned today. I rode the bus to Standale and walked a (very pleasant actually) mile and a half to the dentist’s office. I checked in and they kept asking about insurance. “I’m still on my parents’,” I told them. I don’t think that’s true, but somehow they’ll cover it. I was called in and had X Rays, scraping, finger wagging, etc. I haven’t had a cavity since I had baby teeth. I take care of my teeth, but I just forget to floss. I buy these stupid electric toothbrushes to floss for me. But no, it’s never enough.

I like my teeth and want to take care of them. I understand and respect dentists. But my problems with them lead me to question their racket. And the day I question dentists is the day I sound like a ‘hilljack’. But how could you not question my dentist? This guy rides into work on hi motorcycle with his dentist scrubs on.

He comes in for 2 minutes, glances at my record and asks, “So, still dating Julie?”
“No. We broke up 12 years ago.”
“Oh ho! Right. You just graduated from Grand Valley with a degree in…French, yeah. Right?”
“Yup.”
“Hey, these teeth look super! Good job, my man. Hey, hope to see you soon. Vive la France!”
“Thanks. I’ll floss more often now.”

I let and walked to Arby’s where I bought two delicious, sugary chocolate chip cookies to spite my dentist.

Comments

I had to get my teeth cleaned today too. You're lucky you don't have to go back for a while.. they told me I had to get my wisdom teeth out, ick ick.

Colleen

Colleen,

Don't take it at face value! They told me I needed to have my wisdom teeth out too. Why? Because they're there! My wisdom teeth are actually coming in fine, rarely hurt (and it's only teething), and don't cause any crowding.

If your wisdom teeth are coming in straight and normal, ask the dentist why it's so important that the work be done.

to be honest, i rather liked having my wisdom teeth removed. i didn't have any pain afterwards. my mom loved that and kept my vicodin. and then! she wouldn't let me see tomb raider with my friend (i had free tickets from working at star theatre) 6 hours after surgery. the nerve.

however, i agree with jonathan. don't get it done if you don't need to.

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