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Hard-on

· I had a 5-minute giggle fit doing orientations today. After doing them all week and getting little sleep I finally broke. I'd started announcing that I was leaving in a few weeks and had already checked out, but was having fun with unprofessionalism. During the presentations I slowly started to mumble more, criticize the efficiency of our programs and insert stupid jokes. Today I finally cracked. As I rattled off part of the script I said the words "hard" and "on" next to each other. Ten seconds later, still talking, I started thinking about this and began to smile more, then chuckle, then I eventually couldn't stop laughing. It wasn't just at "hard-on" anymore. It was everything. Eventually I had John take over. I took over again and then started to laugh more when I saw someone smiling (about something else) in the class.

· Things I'm sick of:


  • The phrase "Big black guy"
  • Construction site cranes flying large American flags
  • Hearing that my older brother needs his driver's license
  • Chex Mix: The cereal (or whatever it is I've been eating for breakfast)
  • 80s Night
  • Pants
  • The three Netflix movies I've had for two weeks, unwatched

· The other day my dad announced,
"I've seen the light. I'm moving the sugar from the toaster area to the island." (This represents a move from along the wall of the kitchen to the center, by the stove)

My mom disapproved, saying, "The fuck you are. Leave that sugar over there."

"But Diane, with the sugar over here the ants don't get into it."
"Fine, you can leave it there until we get the new countertop. It'll look tacky right there."
"Hell no. With the sugar over here I don't have throw it out every other day."
"You just need to kill more ants. You can spray Raid more often, you know."

And they continued to argue. I thought about it for a minute. My dad is suggesting preventive measures and my mom is suggesting...I don't know the word. Is it "punitive measures"? In my mind this represented some age-old battle in social reforms. Condoms vs. abortions. After school programs vs. juvenile hall. Coke vs. Pepsi. Carrot vs. stick. I don't know. I think I side with my dad on the issue.

· Every couple months I want to see this picture I saw on Marissa's livejournal a long time ago. I forget where to find it and get mad. Apparently I copied it to my computer and am once again happy to look at it. Thank you, Marissa!

Comments

Great Post!
THAT COMIC!!!!!

carrot v. stick?

That image is hilarious because it is so true.

too fuckin funny

i kind of made up the carrot versus stick one...

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