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Unfinished equation

I celebrate Leap Day. After fighting my self-diagnosed S.A.D. the past few months I've started to feel better and am centering my good moods around this 'holiday'. (And also wishing Dennis Farina, Tony Robbins and Ja Rule a Happy 16th, 12th and 8th Birthday respectively. Whoa, those are the same years my dad, mom and brother were born!)

When we had some solid sunshine for a few days last week I spent an hour or so lying on the kitchen floor absorbing as much sun as possible. The next morning I got a cup of coffee before work and I felt upbeat and was extremely pleasant to others all day. I felt a constant rush of energy and all week I couldn't stop talking or plotting. I actually had things to write down.

I also believed that I developed a sort of super sensory perception. I anticipated the needs of others, what people were going to say and what I should do.

Example. I went to Subway for lunch to get a sandwich. While waiting I saw some new green spread. I thought it would be delightful on my Veggie Delight. I asked what the spread was and a worker said it was Avocado spread, but it didn't look like it. Still waiting I saw an sign for their new Chicken Florentine sandwich with spinach/artichoke spread.

Then I thought, "Wouldn't it be absolutely insane if they wouldn't allow me to put that on my sandwich? What if I even asked to pay extra for it but they wouldn't do it?" That'd be silly.

I ordered my 6" Veggie Delight (I now see that it's spelled Delite. If they're going to simplify it, why not be ridiculous and call it Deee-Lite) on Italian Herbs and Cheese bread with Provolone cheese. I then asked,
"And could I get some of that spinach/artichoke spread on there too?"
"No, sorry," the sandiwch artist told me.
"It's just for the Chicken Florentine."
"Can I pay extra for it?"
"Sorry. No."
"Okay. I'll have lettuce, spinach, tomato-"
"And it has to be warmed up," she added.
"Pickles, green pepper, cucumber-"
"It's the rules from the top."
"Banana peppers, black olives, salt and pepper mix." I think the woman believed I was fuming the whole time but I don't think I acted like it. I did end up writing a letter to Subway asking to allow the spread be put on all the sandwiches but I wasn't going to yell at an employee who had no control over the policy. I shared the story with Seth and he asked me if I'd considered that I may be developing super-human powers.

I put two and two together and realized that the solar radiation from the previous day triggered something inside me. The sudden melatonin blockage and surge of serotonin allowed me to perceive the world with more accuracy. Further discussion with Rae and Seth and brief research led me to conclude that I have harnessed the power of quantum computing inside my body. I'm able to process every qubit in my immediate surroundings and deduce the immediate future. I don't know how. At the present I believe this to be unerringly true. Upon viewing last night's episode of Lost (with respect to Vonnegut, Picard and others) I'm considering becoming unstuck in time for some real progress in ramping up my abilities and laying the foundations of my time religion.

The main point is I'm convinced that I'm out of winter's rut, fingers crossed, and am celebrating it on Leap Day. I'm making the end of February my official New Year as I'm of no use between December and March. I got a haircut and a free 5 minute session at the tanning salon to combat the snow (and my long hair) and maybe even increase my powers. I also have Leap Year resolutions:

    *  HEALTH
          o stop picking at/biting nails/cuticles/skin on fingers
          o  become a better vegetarian
                +  organic
                + greener lifestyle
                + veganism
                + lose car
          o do yoga twice a week (days off)
                + sign up for a yoga class
          o be around cigarette smoke less often
          o  do cleanses/fasts when possible
          o drink less

          o learn to walk on hands, do standing flip (help soon coming from recent friends
          o apply to grad school
                + UM Flint
                + look into linguistics programs
          o   learn computer prgramming
                + css, html, ajax
                + flash
                + ruby, objective C
                + timmerize it!
          o learn spanish
          o stay up on french
          o poster bedroom walls with alphabets, basics of various languages
          o read more about physics, robotics, astronomy

    • apply to Peace Corps
      • South America
    • visit New York
    • write
      • spruce up blog
      • hypermarché of ideas
      • short stories
    • perform
      • improv?
      • puppets?
      • Professing Caoímhin's "Ours" series
      • practice trumpet
    • monkey tattoo
    • stick around for November elections
    • write/call people who are far away once a week
    • dress dichromatically, live omnichromatically (sounds ridiculous written.  maybe period.)
    • catalogue possessions and whittle them down

Happy Leap Day, everyone. To close I have two recent conversations and a picture of Larry David.

Conversation I had over the phone at work the other day with a very nice customer:
"Thank you so much for helping me. Oh and what was your name?"
"Oh ha. I'm, uh, Kevin." (mumbled)
"Thank you, Imakevin." (said like "i'm a kevin" but more natural as if it could be an actual name)

Conversation I had near the library today with a homeless-looking person who can, possibly, only perceive time in quarter-hour increments:
"Can you tell me what time it is?"
"It's 1:26," I tell him as I continue walking and pull my phone out.
"Okay, so that's like 1:30?"
"Uhh, what? Oh, yeah. It's 1:30."
"Great. Thanks."


"leap day: do what you want, then do it again!"

add visiting DC to your list and you can talk to my roommate and all her georgetown (possibly MIT or McGill) linguistics program friends, then you can catch a $20 chinatown bus to New York.

Oh man, you were in my dream the other night Todd. I can't remember if you were some gangster with a harem or an executive. Maybe I'll remember some day.


DC is a good idea. I haven't been there since 8th grade. I will include it/YOU in my New York trip.

i kind of forgot what my comment was now. it was something about how your to do list is like a mirror image of mine, perhaps due to a local rift in the space time continuum. i want to learn french and keep up with my spanish. i want another tattoo. it's ALL THERE, man. it's like we're the same, completely opposite person.

ok so i don't see my comment.. maybe it's on its way.

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