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September 2005 Archives

September 3, 2005

I present to you...

Mark Hensley, ladies and gentlemen.

Mark has been invited to g-rad but can't think of a name for his blog. What's an ionposter to do?

September 6, 2005

Student of the Year

When my mom was in 9th grade she won (female) student of the year. She was presented with an award alongside the (male) student of the year in front of her and his parents. After the ceremony the father of the (male) student of the year went over to my mom's mom. He was very proud of his son, and was a little choked up. "I'm so proud of my boy. He's done so well. And we never thought it would happen, what with my one testicle," he said. "Oh," my grandmother replied.

The emperor's new clothes or A fine example of how I can't make stories connect

I'm going to start posting my livejournal dreck here. This will hopefully provide a better transition to g-rad only.

Continue reading "The emperor's new clothes or A fine example of how I can't make stories connect" »

September 7, 2005


Guillaume de Terre got an apartment in Grand Rapids. I gave him my g-rad shirt in congratulations.

"I thought to myself, 'Why be the richest man in the graveyard? Why continue staying in the wretched hovels of others? I need my own habitation.' And so, I browsed the papers and local websites for openings. I was dissatisfied with all the offerings. So now, move out." He claims that he spoke with my landlord and is taking my room. I don't understand the deal or his reasoning for getting his own place. I suspected a crush.

"Oh, would that I had an interest in any of the sexual beings around here. I rather like the view, porch swing and particularly your washroom. This home has instilled in me a different view on common life and its slow pace. I feel my haughty moustache and prescription monocle need to go. This hat, too, is equally fatuous. By this week's end, I'll be far more plebeian."

I rolled my eyes and he smacked me over the head with a large jug of orange juice. As I got to my feet he got in my face like Iceman did to Maverick in Top Gun and made a weird biting motion.

September 11, 2005

Naked Thinking

With the combination of my wearing pants more often (instead of shorts) again and the recent renewed heat wave, I've taken to sleeping naked. The setup in my room has my desk slightly blocking the AC vent and my overhead fan doesn't circulate the air well enough. An odd smell has lingered, perhaps from my laundry or a hidden apple core, or maybe my general sweatiness. I don't know. So, the idea of sleeping naked and my room smelling paints a awful picture, but I don't care. I strip down in the dark, lie above the covers and rapidly cool down. Then, at some point in the night, I imagine during a dream when a snowman straddles me, I wake up cold and pull my thin sheet over me, instantly warm again.

Then when my alarm goes off I always run over to it to shut it off, but instantly wonder why I'm naked and duck under the windows so the mannequin in the window across the street doesn't spot me and tell the landlords. I then run back to my bed to find my underwear and head to the bathroom because I always have to go worse when I sleep naked for some reason. If I lived alone, I'm sure I'd just go right into the bathroom naked, because I then shower. Why is that temporary clothing even necessary?

When I'm naked I always try to avoid thinking about people. I can think of places, actions and ideas, but I always imagine naked-thinking of somebody creates a new connection with that person that I just don't want to exist (unless I specifically want it to exist). In the shower I preoccupy myself with how lathered I am, how many seconds until I move my toothbrush to another side and the day's to do list with the people who might be involved replaced with plants, capital cities and geometric shapes. Should a classmate or relative wander in, a spell is immediately cast on them and either they turn into a ficus or a building grows up around them.

It all reminds me of the night someone broke into our apartment building when I was living with Alex and the noise woke him, but not me. He came into my room with just a towel around his waist. Still groggy, I thought I was dreaming when a half-nude Alex asked me if I'd heard breaking glass. I laughed at him then, but that apartment was hot and miserable. Should a criminal break in and kill us naked, so be it. At least it'd be a comfortable death.

September 14, 2005

Barnaby's World

This morning when I woke up, I saw the rain and decided to get ready fast so I could catch the bus to take me to the GVSU bus, instead of riding my bike. As I ate, the rain let up and I decided to ride my bike, but still leave early so I could setup for a training I had at the lab. I changed into my shorts and sandals, put my pants and shoes in my bag, as I'd done yesterday, and pulled my yellow Radiohead anorak over my head. I took the trash and headed downstairs.

As I stood on the porch, pulling my bike out of the entryway, I heard several loud honks in the intersection and saw a car stopped with the car behind it honking. I continued watching for a few seconds and saw the car go in reverse and hit the car behind it. The man who was honking was now shouting out his window, "What the fuck are you doing?" The drivers got out, then quickly got back in. The offender parked her car behind Tom's and the victim pulled alongside Tom's car and got out to inspect the damage.

Continue reading "Barnaby's World" »

September 20, 2005

Bills, Bills, Bills (Can you pay my)

I consolidated my loans this summer before the great interest rate hike and haven't done anything with them since. It's been nice not having to worry about homework since I've graduated, but now I worry about money. I made a budget this summer, fantasizing about what I'd do with all my cash from my new job. I made plans for a tesla coil (Mark's recommendation), skydiving, a theremin, bar-tending classes and maintaining a space-age ant farm (I have the farm, I just need the ants). And, as evidenced by these dreams, I should worry about money.

The budget alloted money for these follies, my GVSU student loan, my Powerbook student loan, groceries, alcohol [from the bar, from the store], clothes [one outfit per week], concerts, CDs, "mad money" and saving for my trip to Europe next summer. Conceivably, I'd be able to save thousands. But this summer proved to be lots of money spent on little. Tom suggested I take a domestic management class.

I made my first student loan payment for GVSU today. I'd been terrified that I'd missed a payment and the interest would start to accumulate. I was worried my credit would look bad (I took a little while on a phone bill or two, my powerbook loan is coming along nicely, but I skipped a few payments there) and I'd be turned away from...something. Come to think of it, whatever I'd be turned away from I don't want or want to be a part of anyway. But I was worried. Now, however, I made a very large payment and by my calculations I have only 28 payments of the same size left (but in reality will turn out to be about 180 more [13 years]). I finally feel responsible, adult-like and ready to spend money on frivolous things with no guilt.

September 22, 2005

Kanye's Workout Plan

As confirmed by my grandmother, Tim Carpenter, my distorted self-image influenced by skinnies Alex, Tom, Matt and Mark, and a scale, I need to lose a little weight. I mainly just need to get in shape. So, I've put myself on a "new" exercise regimen. I haven't exercised in 2 years aside from riding my bike for transportation, but that hardly counts. Now, I go to the fieldhouse at GVSU every day after work for about an hour.

· I jog 3 laps, walk 2 laps, jog 3 laps, walk 1 lap. (1 mile)
· I use machines that exercise my adductors, abductors, abdominals, pectorals, quads, glutes, lats and whatever the red areas are on my back. (4 sets of 5 reps)
· I then use an elliptical running machine for 20 minutes or 2 miles, whichever comes last. Unless I'm reading an article in National Geographic on the decline of oil and it takes me forever to read the words because I'm bouncing. Then it's up to 4 miles.

Yesterday I did the "front lat. pull down" for a minute and when the person sat down at the same machine next to me, sitting facing the machine instead of away from it like me, I was too ashamed to continue my lats workout for the day. I then moved on to the other machines with other actual settings. While I'm using these I always have to change the settings for weight and my height. I'm not happy with my height, but I don't care. I do feel ashamed of the little amount I can lift. I usually have to change the setting from 148 lbs. to 62 lbs or something nearby. Sweat pours down my face, my ears fill with water and my headphones slide out, my t-shirt gets wet from the center and outward and then I do my second rep.

When I finish with a machine, I quickly glance around for watchers, then return the weight setting to the original "strongman" amount that was there before. Assuring the dudes and pretty ladies that I can fight/lay them. Then I wipe the drops of sweat out of my eyes, and realize they're actually tears.

September 23, 2005

I'm not wearing any pants

I think I now finally get Degrassi. It took me a while, but now I'm hooked. In junior high kids taking "Life Skills" class got to watch the original series and they would always talk about the show and it sounded completely stupid. Now I'm tempted to watch the old series, but am afraid it would somehow ruin TNG.

Something our house, Matt, etc. have commented on is the show's great use of background. They always have the most amusing, yet unobtrusive things happening behind the actors. On the walk into the dance on the Girls Just Wanna Have fun episode, you see some kid getting slapped.

On White Wedding part 2, we see JT and Toby trying to get into Snake's bachelor party and behind them a man is pulling a parking ticket off his car and speaking angrily on his cell phone.

On Careless Whisper, Kendra is upset by Toby's smothering, but didn't mean to hurt his feelings. The guy in the background is just lounging, looking at his homework, dude.

About September 2005

This page contains all entries posted to spacebase in September 2005. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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