believe or not, but before G-RAD i had somewhat of an even keel. truly. i would never ever, ever in a million years fly off the handle and say things i truly regret. however, in the face of utter shame i have started turning more and more to chemically induced stress relief.
chamomile tea and minty gum.
Instantly upon contact, the heat of the tea warms the gum to a pleasing texture. and almost as an afterthought the strong flavor of mint and the sleepy heaven of the chamomile combine effortlessly into a blissful concoction of taste and smell destined to soothe the mind of any man or beast. or man beast. or puma. i often take my mind off of anything that ails me by sipping chamomile tea, chewing minty gum, and daydreaming about a pair of proud pumas at play.
Almost every morning my Grandpa starts his day with fried country ham, fried eggs, and fried hashbrowns. He skips lunch, and then come dinner time he'll fry fish, or more ham. He likes to fry food, and it usually turns out pretty good. Although, once when I saw him dip out a huge spoonful of lard to fry catfish I was a bit turned off.
Unlike my Grandpa, I am not good at frying food. NOT GOOD AT ALL. The first thing I tried to fry was hashbrowns. They ended up like potato chips (I didn't know how long to keep them in). Everything else ends up burned, including the cooking utensils. I can't seem to get the hang of hot oil.
Tonight, I took another stab. I found a recipe for Curry Bean Burgers on the Hot Knives Blog that sounded amazing. Everything started out amazing. The barley looked good. The green beans and curry smelled delicious. When I mixed everything I was proud of myself. I made the patties, and heated the oil. After the oil was hot, I threw in the patties and everything started to fall apart, literally.
They started out in nice clumps, but as they heated up corners broke off, and they split down the middle. It was a disaster. I quickly rescued them and put them back together; the hot oil seaping out and burning my hands. After I pieced them back into patties I decided that was it. They were done.
Picture From Hot Knives, Obviously
They looked like the picture above, but in pieces and far from a perfect solid color. They tasted pretty good, especially with some avocado, and sprouts.
Would I make them again? Maybe after a few lessons from Grandpa?
For part #2 of the first annual SEASONAL SNACK SURVEY (2006), we take a look at two of the sugariest quasi-holiday snacks we have ever had the quasi-pleasure of tasting.
Official Taste Testers:
Steve, Beth, George
Much like last week, our surveys judged the snacks in the areas of Taste and Flavor, Appearance, Comparison to the classic product, Overall Experience, Overall Festivity, and concluded with our General Comments. Surveys were filled out in secret and shared upon completion. Beth and Steve picked up these holiday products at the local Family Fare (the one on Fulton).
Holiday-packaged Mountain Dew:
Holiday-packaged Mountain Dew: 1.6
Winter Oreos: 3.8
With an overall average score of 1.6 for Mountain Dew, we officially deem this product unsuitable for human consumption, holiday or not. Winter Oreos, on the other hand, slides by with a cool 3.8. By no means a perfect score, it's comparatively an ideal seasonal snack. We are happy to announce our approval for this product and add it to that canon of festive treats.
Welcome to Part #1 of an ongoing taste exploration into new seasonal snack offerings. We have started with a snack near and dear to our hearts and home (literally. it's factory is like down the street): Holiday El Matador Mexican Style Tortilla Chips, or as we like to call them, "The Merry Matadors"
Official Taste Testers:
Todd, Steve, Beth, George
Beth and Steve braved the intense weather conditions and patented holiday Meijer Madness to bring these colorful toritlla chips into our home, at reduced rate ($2.50/lb.). The chips were rated with a likert scale ranging from one (the worst) to five (the best). Our surveys judged the Merry Matties in the areas of Taste and Flavor, Appearance, Comparison to Classic El Matador's, Overall Experience, Overall Festivity, and concluded with our General Comments. Surveys were completed in secret on pieces of paper, which were recycled upon recording the results.
With an over all average of 4.4, We officially deem these Merry Matties to be quality Seasonal Snack fare. While this is the first year in our collective memory that we have seen multi-colored festive El Matadors, we certainly hope it is not the last. In short, We approve.