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i was bummed because my dreams were pretty much nonexistent for a super long time but now ive been happy because the last few nights my dreams have been super vivid. ive been waking up sweating from horrible fantasies and its been fun. its nice to have that element back to my sleeping time.
hah
if you missed halloween in december at my buddy brandons house you fucking missed out. you can even ask the 3 or 4 people that came.
special appearances by grindy grind monster, clear days always, sfj, and hot tapes.
grindy grind monster = one man grind band. guitar and programmed drums. thrashing and screaming included. 3 songs. one original. one napalm death cover. one cattle decap cover.
clear days always = greatness in a poodle suit. our friend levi transformed into a big cute sheepish poodle and sing us pretty songs about masturbation and suicide. love. it was the happiest set ive seen him do and made me happy and we made him play fun songs that he didnt know. fun times
sfj = skull fucking jesus = a kick ass improv grind band a la anal cunt featuring me on guitar, brandon on vocals, and mike on drums. lots of thrashing and fighting and arms swinging and gettting hurt and energy and super fast blah blahs. sjf hates everything you love and hate and then they throw a 15 second hate party for it. take us seriously. and look for our debut 99 song album on self satisfied records super soon. and invite us to play your shows.
hot tapes featuring clear days always not featuring bennett = noisy noise. come to noise fest. hear us. see us. feel us. levi vocaled it up. brandon bassed it. and i feedback loop/miced.
and then a couple hours of music and chatting. we all left.
and we went to noodles and company before. hmmm i didnt eat.
the noodles looked delicious. but the unicorn and lumberjack and old man couldnt stay.
and then we laughed because we all used to like nofx but then i remembered that i still really like punk in drublic because it is their only album that isnt 100% shit home is here and brownings are made and christmas is near and i hate the holiday and everything it is in america. dealing with it though and trying my best not to kill anyone while im home.blah blah blahhahblah halbahlabhlbalhhalbblah sometimes i fear that the worst thing i could every imagine would be the fact that when the truth come out of the far reaches of the middle of my heart i will find it to be terribly pretty and never want to put down on my shelf next to the broken records and paper scraps that tell stories of worbles and weevils and the stock boy's blues and the cashiers good times that keep on rolling on for the world to see while the cats in the alley keep on singing and the shoes from the windows keep on falling from the sky but the little kids really do believe that it is falling out of control for the hundreds of foot soldiers lost their socks and are cold so they refuse to fight the pointless war that the queen sent them to end in the next year so that the kings mistress can take her place in the clouds with all the majestic ponies and fuck ups that dont care about anything except the fool that doesnt realize that the clouds are as real as the cattle being fattened for slaughter by the warm hearted farmer and their relatives suffering in camps while waiting in lines to have their throats slit for a few dollars of blood and a few white linens that the stars dream of wearing to bed at night above the silk undergarments of the whore of the galaxy's black blanket of cold weather and invisible zone holes that go unguarded while the sun shines in never to leave my side bar for a quick martini and laminated baseball cards with my favorite actress fucking the moon.
haha
my mom was sitting on the couch knitting and i came in and turned on earthlings and i think it hit her pretty hard. my family doesnt eat any red meats because of my dads diet but they are heavy on chicken and fish. but i think i successfully destroyed her love of dirty little chickens and turkeys. which will hopefully flow over into the rest of the family. i wanted to make it a family event (the watching of the film) but everyone else went to bed.
she stormed off to bed when they started talking about sea food. and made some bullshit comment about how we shouldnt even be eating plants. i was also going to tell her that i havent eaten meat in close to 6 months but it will have to wait until the morning. so happy
in case you still havent seen it
or i will let you borrow the dvd
i went out to skate while i was cooking dinner.
my mom threw out all of my old shoes.
erg
no skatey.
no snow = no teaching lessons at cannonsburg = no good cash.
this is the worst winter ive ever experienced.
and no shoes.
and no one to comb my hair.
yuck
so basically where the fuck are all of my shoes.
1) every one come to the halloween party we are throwing this christmas (dec 22) at brandon's parents' house and costumes
2) yay for not being at school
3) wheat thins and chocolate chip cookies are really really yummy
4) watch Hofmann's Potion, a documentary about lsd. i have had very strong feelings about drugs (prescription street and overthecounter) ever since a little incident with an over dosage of molaria medicine that totally fucked me up* and then a short while on anti blahalha depressants**. but the things ive found out about lsd the past couple days have been quite interesting. this documentary is about the research that went into lsd and talked a lot about these facilities that the doctors/psychologists opened in order to give people an experience that is more than a fun little trip, they made it so your trip was as pleasant as possibly and it was all about looking at yourself and your mind and really taking in the experience. using the experience to help put to rest inner problems, therapeutic. and it seems that the medical uses that were being researched could have been very beneficial if it hadnt been made illegal.
5) wonder showzen and metalocalypse
6) tv rots my brain
7) a turkey sandwich made me feel really shitty after not having meat for 6 monthsish
* and ** i think it was 2000ish when we went to go visit my grandparents in kenya where they were missionaries and we had to get all drugged up. my dosage for the malaria medicine was to big and it really fucked with my head. a total drug induced psychosis. horrible paranoia. crying. scared to death to go to sleep but just as scared to stay awake. then my grandma, a nurse, said stop taking it. and she put me on something else and everything was fixed. then we got home and i was invited to a friends birthday party***. i still had a lot of that nasty shit in my system. so i go. it is an all nighter. this is also the first time im exposed to porn. then i come home in the morn. sleep for a long time and start freaking out from these meds again. blah blah blah
years later.
the doctor says im "depressed" and they put me on this shit. i take for a summer and it makes me feel all itchy in my skin and energetic out of my head. so i throw it out.
more later.
i realize there is no point to drugs. and i say never ever again
the other day.
i see that lsd looks really interesting
the end
*** make up sad story about this boy because there is one but i dont feel that i have the right to share.