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AUGUST 12, 2007 1:07 AM

Adults only--and no animatronic animals!
The exclamation "Pizza Party!" really doesn't do this occasion justice. In truth, it was an all out Pizza Gorge-a-thon. I haven't eaten this much pizza at one sitting since junior high when I won the Grand Prize "Party at Showbiz" for selling 53 magazine subscriptions to a total of five elderly neighbors. My fingers ballooned to the size of toilet paper tubes, and I was haunted for weeks by dark dreams involving "Fatz Geronimo"--the animatronic keyboard-playing gorilla from the Showbiz house band, "Rockafire Explosion".

Silly Rabbit, Fatz is for kids!
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I ate pizza like a child (with banjo-wielding animatronic bears, lots of nappy dead meat, and congealed bovine mammary fluids). When I became a man, I gave up childish ways, and began eating designer vegan pizzas with toppings such as salted lemon puree, roasted beets, walnut pesto, tofu ricotta, and leeks.

Salted Lemon Puree, Roasted Beet, Arugula, Leek

Walnut Pesto, Tofu Ricotta, Mushroom, Tempeh Bacon

Pizza Caprese (Tofu, Tomato, Basil, Garlic, Salt and Pepper)