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SEPTEMBER 30, 2007 4:25 PM

Tell Papa to "Hold the cheese!" and then pile it up yo' bad self.
Good ol' Papa John's often offers a carry-out special that can score you a large one-topping pizza for just $5.99 (or thereabouts, depending on the city). We've had great luck getting the Easttown franchise to substitute extra sauce for the cheese on a large mushroom pizza, and then we bring it home and doctor it up with onion, garlic, peppers, tomatoes, and some sliced Tofurky Beerbrats (or whatever else is on-hand).

Here's our method: (1) make the call or order online; (2) pre-heat the oven to warm; (3) chop veggies and fako-sausage; (4) make the pick-up; (5) put the pizza in the warmed oven; (6) sautee Tofurkey sausage slices in olive oil and set aside; (7) sautee veggies and spices together in olive oil (onions first with oregano and rosemary, then peppers, then garlic, then tomatoes, then throw the Tofurky back in for a warm-up); (8) pile on your homemade toppings and kick it into hog-it-all mode for the ultimate impromptu pizza fix.