G-Rad's Newest Vegan Arrives!
It was a bit of a rude awakening, but at 12:16 am on Thursday, September 4, 2008, E.W. came roaring onto the scene via unplanned c-section at Butterworth Hospital on the venerable Michigan Street in the great city of Grand Rapids!
If E.W. looks a bit perturbed here, that's because his restful ten-month tenure in the comfort of his heroic mother's well-appointed womb just came to a screeching halt. The garish surgical equipment and the scrub-bedecked behemoths can't be helping either.
A Perfect Gentleman
After a nice severing of the umbilical cord and a change of clothes, however, E.W. felt like a new man. We elected to put him in a kimono shirt with flaps covering up his hands shortly after he expressed his intent to have the word "OZZY" tattooed across his newborn knuckles.
Luckily, he came to his senses within a few days and is now free to perform such handy activities as sucking on his fingers, making unintentionally obscene gestures, batting stuffed toys, and raising his fist in solidarity with vegans around the globe!
Vegans of the World Unite
SEPTEMBER 12, 2008 9:45 PM