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November 21, 2006

Snow Globe Nazi

I am currently working as a Santa's helper at the mall. It's the latest edition to my string of novel/seasonal employment. And no (unfortunately) I don't get to wear an elf costume. I was quite disappointed, as you can imagine. However I do get to personally escort Santa to and from the set when he takes breaks to feed the reindeer, from 1pm - 2 pm and again from 5pm - 6pm. But my main duty is to stand before the giant functioning snow globe and hold the crowd from advancing forward. That's right, I have to tell overly excited children that they will have to wait to play in the fake snow and sit on Santa. As you can guess this goes over well, thus I have given myself the title of "Snow Globe Nazi."

But I have found various ways to cope with the impatient children. My favorite is to make the little ones count to 20 before they can go in, this is highly amusing ...10,12,13....15...14...15....20! I have the older one's find their location on the illustrated set map, which is tricky as it was printed backwards.

I can not find words to describe what it is like to work in the center of the mall during the holidays. It is the most overwhelming environment a human can be subjected to. I work next to Godiva and the Body Shop so there are very strong scents wafting in. It is very crowded and kids have no sense of personal space. There is music coming from everywhere and people's voices bounce around in the large two story plaza. And there are 360 degrees of lights and advertisements all designed to draw your attention, and every three seconds a camera flash goes off. You would think that your body would be overwhelmed and you would get a vomit-inducing headache. And at first that's exactly what happens. But after a few hours your senses completely shut down and it's somewhat peaceful.

Soon they are going to train me on the camera, where you get to make kids say silly words and squeeze squeeky toys to get baby's to look the right direction. I make this sound horrible but I'm looking forward to it.

Posted by audrey at November 21, 2006 9:46 PM


Hi, haha.

Posted by: Nicole Rork at November 26, 2006 6:32 PM

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